


Everything might be okay

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canada, Drarry, F/F, Fluff, Harry realizes his feelings, M/M, after college, after the war, and also an OC, angst with fluffy ending, don’t @ me, draco gets a friend, draco is suicidal, draco needs love, draco plays video games, mentions if suicide, mentions of self harm, she’s gay, studying abroad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23541253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Several heartbeats passed before she spoke again. “You needed someone.”Draco furrowed his brows. “Excuse me?”Thalia looked at him meaningfully, all traces of teasing erased from her face. “That’s why I came over tonight. You looked like you needed someone while you were in the halls today. My girlfriend pointed it out too. She suggested I stop by.”Draco stayed silent. Then, taking a breath, he spoke lowly. “If you hadn’t come, I wouldn’t be here.”DISCLAIMER! The battle against JK Rowling was sadly lost, so the wizarding world of Harry Potter still belongs to herWARNING! Mentions of suicide, self harm, and depressing thoughts are mentioned throughout this story. Please take caution!ANNOUNCEMENT! I am looking for a beta to look over and edit my works. If you would be interested, please let me know in the comments and I can provide my gmail. Thanks!
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 8
Kudos: 84





	Everything might be okay

**Author's Note:**

> Remember you guys are all loved! Even when you think you’re alone, just remember that I care about you and your well-being. I’m open to talk if anything is going on. Please let me know if you need someone.
> 
> This story is meant to show a side of depression and hopefully help some people understand how someone may feel whilst having suicidal thoughts or suffering from self harm. Please understand that not everything is perfect, and is solely my interpretation through experience. Thank you! :)

Draco felt like he was suffocating. The air slowly being sucked from his lungs, leaving him to die alone. This is what it felt like to suffocate, that much he was sure of. Glazed over eyes stared blankly out the window, shaking breaths coming out in quick puffs. 

He was going to do it. No, he _needed_ to do this. An out. An escape from the cruel world of reality. It may be the coward’s way out, but when hasn’t he been a coward? He blinked quickly. He couldn’t cry. He couldn’t second guess. He just needed to get it over with. Everything would be fine after. But how? How would he do this? Overdose? Jumping? 

Draco brought shaking hands to his face. _What am I doing?_ He shook his head. _No_. _I need to do this._ Slender fingers brushed against the bottom of the window. Jumping would be easiest. Get it done and over with. With one motion he slid the window open. He let a sad smile ghost over his lips, preparing to slide his body through the window. 

“GAH!” Draco let out a cry of pain. He rubbed his head, frowning to himself. Frantic knocking had sounded at his door. He sighed before his eyes widened.  _ What the hell am I doing?  _ He asked himself, quickly backing away from the window.  _ I...I was going to…?  _ His thoughts were interrupted by another bout of knocking. He let a sigh escape his lips before opening the door. 

“Hi, neighbor!” A smal, brown-haired girl stood outside his doorway, a casual smile playing on her lips. 

Draco stared at her with confusion. “Do I know you?” He asked. Her smile wavered slightly at his cold tone. 

“Nope, I just moved next door. I saw you sulking in the halls earlier and decided I wanted to say hi.”

Draco frowned. “I don’t sulk…” he mumbled. The girl let out a chuckle. 

“Of course you do.” She casually glided into his apartment without invitation. “Wow, it’s dark in here. Have you paid your electric bill lately?”

Draco just stood there, flabbergasted. “Who  _ are  _ you?” 

“Oh, silly me. I’m Thalia, your sort of new neighbor,” She answered, flashing an almost wolfish smile. “I’ve been living here a few months. And you’re Draco, of course. Draco Malfoy.”

“How…?”

She lazily pointed to a note sitting on the table. “Well it seems you wrote this letter, unless you haven’t. Damn, that would be awkward.” She gestured nonchalantly to nowhere in particular. She just seemed to radiate a casual aura.

Draco cleared his throat. “I _am_ Draco,” he assured in a small voice. He quickly snatched the note away, crumpling it in a ball. “Anyways, why are you here?”

Thalia leaned her elbow on the table. An impish smile crossed her face. “I know what you’ve done, Draco.” 

Grey eyes widened. He needed to run. She was here to kill him. How could he be so stupid, letting a stranger come in. He thought he would be safe here, in Canada, but it seemed his past would always haunt him. His breathing was suddenly ragged and quick. His vision was getting blurry. 

“Hey. Draco. Draco!” A firm grip on his shoulder shocked him back into reality. “I was just messing with you, yeah?” Draco’s eyes focused on her face. Her stormy blue eyes showed obvious worry. “It was a joke. My bad. Here, sit down.” She guided him back to his couch, sitting him down. 

“I...I…” Draco breathed. 

“You don’t hafta explain. Where do you keep the coffee ‘round here?” 

“I don’t drink coffee.” 

Thalia adjusted her large rounded glasses. “Ah, you British folk and your tea,” she commented whilst rummaging through his cupboards. Several heartbeats passed before she spoke again. “You needed someone.” 

Draco furrowed his brows. “Excuse me?” 

Thalia looked at him meaningfully, all traces of teasing erased from her face. “That’s why I came over tonight. You looked like you needed someone while you were in the halls today. My girlfriend pointed it out too. She suggested I stop by.” 

Draco stayed silent. Then, taking a breath, he spoke lowly. “If you hadn’t come, I wouldn’t be here.”

Thalia seemed unbothered by this comment. “Mood.” She let a smirk play on her lips. “I’m kidding. I’m glad I helped, though. Same thing happened to me before I moved here.” Her eyes flicked toward his surprised expression. “No need to look so surprised. During college I almost overdosed on my ADHD meds, but someone stopped me. When I asked him why, he just shrugged. We’re besties now—ah here’s the tea.” Draco watched as she made tea in his own kitchen. 

The person she was talking about…it reminded him a lot of a certain Gryffindor. “Now there’s a smile,” Thalia smirked. She made her way to the couch, plopping next to him as she waited for the kettle to heat up. “Anyways, I thought you could use someone. And it seems I was right.” 

Draco let out a weak laugh. What the hell was happening? He wasn’t quite sure...but it was nice. Thalia was weird. A good weird. Maybe the kind of weird he needed in his life right now. “I guess you were,” he agreed. Thalia leaned back, closing her eyes. 

“You remind me a lot of him.” 

“Who…?”

“My friend. He has the same look in his eyes. Like you're still reliving a part of your past. Like you're trapped. Like you’re  _ suffocating _ .” Draco’s breath hitched. How was she able to read him so easily? Her foot tapped against the floor and a wide smile spread across her face. “So...you gay?” 

The blond sputtered at the sudden question. “What...what kind of question is that?” 

“Hey, don’t act so shocked. I’m extremely gay. Just asking. My friend’s gay too. You may be asking yourself ‘Thalia why are you saying this?’. Well because you seem to be a good match. He has a thing for blonds.” She opened one eye, pointing a finger at him. “Which you obviously are. You know...if you swung both ways, I might have dated you. Of course, I have a girlfriend, so no can do.” 

Draco huffed indignantly. “What makes you think I  _ don’t  _ swing both ways?” 

Thalia let out a dry laugh. “C’mon. You just scream bottom. No bi or pan guy can scream  _ that  _ much bottom energy. I could be wrong, though. My gaydar has been off recently.” 

“B...bottom?!” 

“Don’t try to deny it, blondie. I would know one of my own.” She jumped to her feet as the kettle let out a shrill sound. “Tea time.” Draco waited patiently as she fetched mugs from his cabinet and poured them both a cup of tea. “Sugar?” 

“Please.”

She nodded thoughtfully and carefully measured out sugar for them both. Then she sat back down, handing him his cup. “So, Draco, what d’you do for fun?” 

“Fun?” 

Thalia laughed, looking at him intensely. “ _ Fun _ . Is that a new word for you?” 

Draco scoffed. “Well what do  _ you  _ do for fun?”

Thalia tapped a fingernail against the rim of her cup. “Video games, mostly, tv, a bit of reading. Oh, collecting too.” She blew at the hot liquid, causing her lenses to fog up. She snickered and looked at Draco. “Now what do you do for fun?” 

“I...I don’t do much anymore.” 

“Hm, that’s sad, bro. How about you come over tomorrow? You can meet my girlfriend and we can play some video games. How about that?” Draco nodded slowly. 

“Sure. Okay.” 

Thalia smirked into her cup. “Rad.”

* * * 

Draco ran his fingers through his hair. With one last look at the mirror, he headed out of his apartment. He smiled to himself. “What a weird situation…” he mumbled. He had to admit, it wasn’t a terrible situation. Thalia was nice enough and easy to get along with. He knocked firmly against her door, shifting his weight awkwardly as he waited. 

“SHIT!” he heard from inside, followed by several crashing sounds. Draco let out a chuckle. “Sorry ‘bout that,” Thalia smirked as she opened the door. She gestured for him to step inside. 

Draco was immediately overwhelmed. Her apartment was the epitome of controlled chaos. Dozens of framed posters of characters he didn’t recognize decorated the walls. What seemed to be hundreds of plushies sat at the corner of the living room. A giant tv took up almost half of the wall and underneath was a mess of cords and gaming consoles. A large collage of photos took up the rest of the wall with the tv.

“Woah there. No need to look so shocked,” she laughed lightly, elbowing him slightly. Draco laughed. 

“You seem to like video games a lot.” 

She let out another laugh. “I get emotionally attached.” She stepped into the living room where several blankets were strewn on the floor in a sort of nest. “Kat! The bottom is here!” She called out, then plopped down in the middle of the blanket nest. 

“Hey! Is that what you’ve been calling me?!” The Slytherin demanded. The corners of her mouth quirked up. 

“Of course,” she answered. “Ah, there you are, love. Meet Draco.” 

A girl about a few inches shorter than Thalia stepped out of another door. Her long black curls fell loosely and dark eyes stared at him intensely. Draco shifted underneath her gaze. Then, she laughed loudly. Thalia chuckled lowly with her. “Gottem,” she muttered lazily. Kat approached him and...damn she was short. 

“Nice to meet you, bottom.” Kat offered a hand. 

“Please, it’s Draco,” he told her exasperatedly, shaking her small hand. Kat winked. 

“Sure, Draco.” she walked into the living room and sat in Thalia’s lap. “Well, come on. We’re starting a new game today since you’re here.” 

“We?” Draco echoed. He slipped off his shoes and padded into the living room. He sat to the right of Thalia, at the side of the blanket nest. 

“Of course,” Thalia answered. “Although it’s a one player game, it’s more fun to play it with other people. Especially since this is a mystery game.” 

* * * 

“ _ He  _ was the murderer!?” Draco exclaimed. “Bullshit!” 

Thalia wiped away the tears leaking from her eyes. Kat had fallen asleep almost as soon as they started the game, but the brunette didn’t seem to mind much. 

“Bullshit,” Thalia agreed sadly. Draco shook his head. 

“I understand the emotional attachment now,” he muttered, watching intensely as the murderer was cruelly punished for his actions. 

“Bullshit,” Thalia said once more. Kat made a small sound in her sleep. Thalia nodded thoughtfully. “Mood.” 

Once the execution was over, Draco’s gaze turned to Thalia and Kat. He smiled softly. Just yesterday he had been at his lowest point. Now he had befriended two nice muggles and was actually having fun. If only mother could see him now. He let a soft chuckle escape his mouth. 

Thalia met his eyes, returning the smile. “Glad you’re happy.” 

“Me too.”

They both jumped at the sound of someone’s phone ringing. Thalia snatched the small device and quickly answered it. “Oh hey, Harry,” she answered. She winked at Draco, mouthing something like  _ it’s the gay guy _ . 

Draco seemed to malfunction. Harry? No it couldn't be. There’s got to be a million Harry’s in the world. Thalia laughed, bringing Draco back to reality. “Oh I’m not doing much, just crying over games again. ‘Bullshit’, as so eloquently put by my new friend.” He heard chatter from the other side of the phone. “Oh his name is Dr…” 

Draco suddenly waved his arms, getting Thalia’s attention. He vigorously shook his head. He couldn’t take the chance that it actually was the Harry he was thinking of. Thalia raised an eyebrow at him. “Draco,” she finished her sentence, still staring at the blond with confusion. “Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong. Just got distracted. Yeah, his name is actually Draco. Um, yes he has blond hair…” 

Draco sighed, burying his face in his hands. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He almost laughed at the irony. Of course this would happen to him. Just when his life was starting to get better, the “Golden Boy Potter” had to butt in. Draco sighed heavily. He didn’t hate Potter. Quite the opposite in fact. 

“ _ You  _ want to speak with  _ him _ ?” Thalia asked incredulously. She took the phone away from her ear a moment to glare at Draco. 

“Care to explain why Harry is freaking out right now?” 

The blond let out a shuddering breath. “I…” he had no answer. He didn’t know how to tell her, or rather he  _ couldn’t.  _ Not a muggle. 

She sighed heavily and brought the phone back to her ear. “I’m going to video call you and you better explain what’s going on,” she told Harry through the phone and hung up. She quickly called him again and soon none other than Harry Potter himself showed up on the screen. 

Draco quickly stood up, his heart pounding a million miles a minute. He couldn’t face him. Not again. Not after all those years. “Thalia,” he said calmly. 

Thalia’s eyes flicked from the screen up to Draco and then back to the screen. “What the hell is going on here? Do you two know each other? Oh god, please don’t tell me you’re exes.” 

“No!” Draco shouted. Thalia glared at him. 

“Then why are you both acting so fucking weird?!” She demanded. 

“Thalia calm down,” Harry’s voice said. “I can explain.” 

“Well, then. Explain.” 

Several moments of silence. 

“Okay, I can’t explain.” 

Thalia groaned. Kat made a small sound, nuzzling her face in Thalia’s chest. The brown-haired girl lowered her voice. “How do you two know each other?”

Draco sighed deeply. “We knew each other in school.” Thalia raised an eyebrow, her eyes flicking to her phone. Harry nodded.

“We didn’t exactly get along…”

Thalia made a sound before speaking. “That’s fucking stupid.” 

Draco looked at her incredulously, whilst Harry’s jaw dropped. “Thalia!” Harry exclaimed. Thalia sighed and closed her eyes. 

“I’m just telling the truth.” 

Draco scoffed. “You couldn’t begin to understand the situation.” 

Thalia adjusted her glasses and glared at him. “I’m not stupid. I know about the war.” Draco heard Potter let out a noise of disbelief.

“I...I thought you were-”

“A no-maj? I’m actually a squib. Anyways I somewhat kept up with the news in England, so I’m not clueless about what happened.” 

“Why...why didn’t you bring it up then?” Draco demanded. 

Thalia was staring at her girlfriend. “Wasn’t important. And besides, I don’t know all the details of what happened...just what the news decided to tell us.”

Draco frowned. He needed to leave. So, he gathered his belongings. “A pleasure, Thalia.” He bid farewell and swiftly left. 

* * * 

Harry rested his cheek on his palm. He honestly couldn’t pay attention to what Thalia was saying. Apparently, his distraction was obvious. 

“Harry, you’re going to leave a mark on your face.” She grabbed his hand and pulled it from his face. “Now tell me what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing really.”

Thalia gave a haughty laugh. “Sure, sure. Now actually tell me what’s wrong.” Harry couldn't help but smile. He was glad to have met Thalia. After moving to Canada to study abroad, he hadn’t been able to visit the Weasley’s or anyone else back home. With Thalia he felt at ease. She seemed to make everyone around her just as calm as her demeanor was. 

“It’s Malfoy.” 

Thalia tsked at him. “Of course it is. And what about him?” The Gryffindor ran fingers through his nest of hair. 

“I’m not sure...I haven’t seen him since the trial.” 

“And you proved him innocent, right?” Harry nodded, deciding not to question how she knew that.

“Yeah. He left before I could say anything afterwards. I didn’t know he left the country, though…” 

“Hm.” Thalia touched her nose, something she’d often do while thinking. “So are you still upset with him?”

“No. Not really. During the trial I was able to realize that he was just like everyone...just on the wrong side. He was manipulated. Tortured. I couldn’t blame him for that.” 

Thalia nodded. “Then why are you bothered?” 

Harry shook his head, attempting to wrap this whole situation around his brain. “I dunno. God, it’s just so weird seeing him like this.”

“Like what?”

“Tired? He looked...sad. So different from the prat I knew.”

“He was going to kill himself,” Thalia said suddenly. Her voice was casual, but her gaze was intense and serious. Harry sputtered for an answer.

“W...What!?” 

Thalia nodded. “I saw him in the halls. He looked like he needed someone. Kat suggested I stop by. Maybe introduce myself and see what all the ruckus was about. He wasn’t dead, obviously. But there was a suicide note on his table. He also told me he was going to do it. I ‘saved’ him. Anyways, he had the same look in your eyes. The look that you get when you think no one is looking.”

Harry covered his face. “Why are you telling me all this?”

“He needs someone, Harry. I’m not sure if you’re the right person, but it’s worth a try right? You felt something when you saw him after all those years.”

Harry nodded slowly. “I...I don’t know, Thalia. He hates me.” 

Thalia provided a small smile. “No. I don’t think he does.” 

* * * 

Draco stared at his reflection. He could barely recognize himself. He was thin...tired-looking. He just looked pathetic. He sighed, biting his trembling lip.  _ Why did it have to be Potter?  _ Draco could feel hot tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.  “Why…” he whispered to himself. “Why can’t I just move on? Why can’t things be better? Why am I  _ like this? _ ” He eyed the pocket knife on his sink counter before letting out a breath of air. 

“No,” he told himself, shoving the knife off the counter. Instead he took a quick shower. Then, he dressed himself and laid in bed. He tried to sleep. He tried to turn off his brain, but his thoughts wouldn’t stop. They wouldn’t stop whispering things to him. Draco grabbed his head, screaming into his pillow. 

_ Ding dong _ !

Draco lifted his head. He hesitated before dragging his feet to the door. He opened it, not really caring who was there. Turns out, he actually did care, because none other than Harry Potter was standing there, looking a bit sheepish. 

Draco stared at the Gryffindor for several moments. He then started to close the door. “No! Wait-”

Draco closed his eyes for a moment. “What is it, Potter?” 

“I...I wanted to talk?” It sounded like a question. 

Another sigh and Harry was walking through the doorway. He needed to make sure this was a short visit. He wasn’t sure if he could stop himself from either strangling Harry or kissing him on the spot. They stood, sort of awkwardly. 

“Can I use the loo?” 

It took all Draco had not to facepalm. He silently pointed and Potter rushed off. The Slytherin plopped onto his sofa, breathing deeply. Just when his life couldn’t get more complicated...it got more complicated. Just his luck. If he had just jumped-

“No,” he told himself quietly. He couldn’t be having those thoughts and he definitely couldn’t act on them...not like he almost had done.

“Draco.” 

At the sound of his name, Draco whipped his head toward Harry, who was clutching his pocket knife and old stained tissues from his wastebasket. 

“You...went through my trash?” 

“Draco,” Harry said once more. 

“That  _ is  _ my name,” he answered casually, ignoring the fluttering in his stomach from hearing Potter call him “Draco”. 

“Why?” 

The blond pretended not to understand. “Why  _ what _ , Potter?”

“Why are you hurting yourself?” 

His eyes wandered around his apartment. “I deserve it,” he answered quietly. Harry took several steps forward, allowing the blood-stained tissues to fall on the floor and the knife to drop with a clatter. 

“No, you don’t.” 

Draco stared at his hands. “Yes I do, Potter. I deserve all the pain the world and myself decide to give me. Because I’m horrible. I did horrible things.  _ I deserve _ it.”

“No.” Gentle hands wrapped around his own. Draco’s eyes shot up. Harry was kneeling in front of him. His green eyes. Oh those green eyes that he could stare into for hours. And those lips...how his lips looked when they said his name. Draco closed his eyes, allowing the tears from earlier to fall. He melted into the warm hand that slowly caressed his cheek. “You’re brilliant…Draco.” 

Then, warm lips were pressed against his own. It was like a spark was ignited between them. Draco eye’s momentarily shuddered open. Then, he kissed back, his heart fluttering at the contact. 

Harry pulled away and Draco opened his eyes. He lightly touched his lips, a light pink dusting his skin. Harry smiled gently at Draco. 

That smile. 

It made Draco feel something. Like everything might be okay. That maybe he did deserve something in this world. That _maybe_ he could be loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, guys! I hope the angst wasn’t too much for you. I’ll have to admit that my soul was slowly dying whilst writing this. Anyways! Stay safe and healthy and make sure to stay inside. I know quarantine is boring, but it’ll be over soon enough! Love you guys and hope you enjoyed this story! :)


End file.
